A Special Place

Everyday for the last 5 months I wake from my dreams to yet another day without hearing the soothing low voice that I am so accustomed and in-tuned with for more than a third of my life. Fast as it seems that time has passed, it also feels like a lifetime without his presence.

Each day is largely filled with activities at work but I deeply miss our lost routine. The lost routine of calling him the minute I leave the same office building... counting the train stations while co-ordinating with him the exact time he should leave home to ensure we step into our dinner venue almost simultaneously... walking our dogs... contemplating if we should break our diet and indulge in a sundae... and so much more.

His fighting spirit still lives on and it propels me to make good of my life and to cherish all around me. Each time I encounter a difficult situation, I still feel and hear him beside me, rooting for me. 

I recall the day before he left me, we were driving home from his little birthday celebration at Sentosa, he said to me "Dear, you must have confidence in the decisions you make, have faith that they are right and follow them" At that juncture, I was in a hurry in trying to maneuver out from a bad jam along ECP as I wanted to fly him home, I reckoned he was telling me to have more confidence in cutting onto another lane as he is a very steady driver. 

Days after he was called home , I tried to put the recent events in place as everything prior seemed like a blur to me. It then came to full realisation to me that those were some of his parting words and he was preparing me for my journey ahead. That is so very like Kevin, he always have my interest in mind and it is very much still.

While I have to get accustomed to my new routines, the old routines will always have a special place in my heart.

Bad Hair Day

Again, over the weekend, I tried my hand in shaving my baby girl's fur.

In the midst of action, I could almost hear Kevin chastising me as he always did each time I tried shaving our dogs "Dear, for goodness sake, bring them to the groomers for a good haircut! How would you like to go out with an uneven haircut like theirs!"

As usual, I would blame it on the shaver blade... not sharp enough, too old a model, angle not right. Sad to say, she IS very patchy but at least i got the job done! My famlily says she now looks like a kampong dog...

Well, the consolation is - FUR GROWS!!

This was taken during her better hair days!

Happy Valentine's

Dearest

Thank you for loving me

I know you are and will continue to watch over me from above

This beautiful song is for you....

Happy Valentine's Day

~~~

THE ROSE

Some say love it is a river

that drowns the tender reed

Some say love it is a razer

that leaves your soul to blead

Some say love it is a hunger

an endless aching need

I say love it is a flower

and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking

that never learns to dance

It's the dream afraid of waking

that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken

who cannot seem to give

and the soul afraid of dying

that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely

and the road has been too long

and you think that love is only

for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter

far beneath the bitter snows

lies the seed

that with the sun's love

in the spring

becomes the rose

By Bette Midler

~~~

Turning Back Time

Heading towards KL and moving around Kevin's birthplace had me looking through my mental photo albums which captured our many happy moments in Malaysia.

Every lane that we drove, every dish that we ordered, every corner that we turned, every new shop that we explored just made his presence so ever more, deeply missed.

What was most important was that I had a glimpse of the beautiful childhood Kevin had with the finding of old photo albums. Here's a peek at a few angelic snapshots of my dearest while I continue to scan and compile the life journey of the gentle giant.