Each day when I ride the bus to work, hooked on my i-pod and looking up unto the clear blue sky, I visualize him smiling at me from above.
Many times I have well wishing friends who tell me that I am strong. However, deep down inside I know that I am not. There are so many times that I just tell myself that it is so painful to go on and I just want to be where he is. When there were dreams of us together, I wished I never woke up.
How I long to be able to argue with him every morning who should wake up first just to earn those extra minutes of sleep or to have an occasional prank played on me or even having one of our silly quarrels and so much more.
Being the partner that always think ahead for our future and always conscious in taking care of my feelings, he left me with many encouraging words as he knew how much I cherish and needed them. Although he is so far away from me, his presence is so very near and I could almost hear him repeating those encouraging words at my low moments. After that, somehow, the sky will seem to be brighter, the songs livelier and my heart lighter.
He taught me how to count my blessings and to pray each time the burden gets heavy. Going through this journey and remembering Kevin's fight, it changed my perspective in life. Living my life is not just planning for the future by doing the maths for retirement, it is how to best live my life.
Even though we have been apart for 9 months, to me it just seems like yesterday I heard his robust laughter and holding his big hands. Having these memories and his assurance, I made it for 9 months and will continue to make it through.
