In Moments Like These

We have come so far after enduring so many different treatments, the path before us now seems the most difficult and uncertain.

Being subjected to 3 rounds of high dose chemo, the body has weaken and it is now tired. Upon discharge from the ICU on Monday back to the isolation ward, the body was out of critical condition but it still needed close monitoring. The blood pressure was hovering at borderline and the heart rate still fast at 145. His mind and body was trying it's best to fight.

The next 5 days were of close monitoring as doctors kept adjusting medications to keep him afloat. Having an unstable blood pressure and bad water retention, it was difficult to strike a balance as draining fluids causes the pressure to decline. In addition, potassium had to be infused as the body was lacking this essential element (lack of potassium can affect the heart functions) which further caused the body to be laden with more fluids.

The body became too tired in trying to drain the fluids and it started to enter his lungs. With fluids in the lungs, breathing became difficult and the oxygen levels plunged on Friday night. He was immediately rushed down to the ICU and a respirator was required to take over the breathing process to maintain sufficient oxygen in his blood.

Meanwhile, at the ICU, the doctors tried an aggressive approach by using medications and air pressure to force as much fluids possible out of the lungs. At the same time, they had to be careful with the amount of oxygen given as chemo drug, blomeycin, given prior to this treatment had scarred some parts of the lungs. With the breathing tube inserted, he became very restless even in his semi-conscious state and had to be strapped down to prevent accidents of pulling his lines. The dosage of sedation was increased, however, this caused his blood pressure to plunge. The doctors had to strike a fine balance between adequate sedation and maintaining the blood pressure.

The condition is complicated with some bleeding in the stomach, colon and kidneys as his platelets is extremely low. Although donor platelets are being infused, it remains a concern to the doctors as platelets is the blood clotting element of the body. As the doctors suspect pneumonia, a bronco scope was done. Taking no precautions, the doctors have already been using a wide range of antibiotics to counter a wide spectrum of infections, including pneumonia.

Joining our hands in prayer, we are comforted that The Lord is walking with us every minute of this difficult journey and we continue to trust in Him for strength, grace and guidiance.

When The Going Gets Tough

As the body awaits new stem cells to grow after the chemo and transplant, the immunity will continue to drop. At this point, the risk of developing an infection is high.

In this final cycle, the infection developed was more serious than the one from the previous cycle. Infection do cause blood pressures to fall, increased heart rate and fever to develop. In addition, the diarrhoea caused much loss of fluids and electrolytes.

With everything bundled together and having 8 rounds of diarrhoea through the night, the body went into shock on early Sat morning. He started to be irrational and tried pulling out his lines. When the nurse and myself stopped him, he clenched his fingers around ours as we tried to pry open his fingers to call for the doctor. By this time, his heart rate raced to 170 and fingernails turned slightly blue. My heart went cold when the mucus and saliva started to drip. The calmness of the nurse soothed his agitation and he slowly calmed down.

Soon it was 7am and his eyes again had the glassy look. His blood pressure was quite low so the doctor immediately sent him to the ICU. He was under close monitoring for 2 days as his heart rate was high at 140 - 160 and the fever also hit a high of 39 degrees on Sat night.

It was only on Mon morning that he was able to return to his normal isolation room. He was so weak from the entire ordeal that even talking needed effort.

A CT scan for the stomach was ordered to see exactly what is going on in the guts... it seems like there is some infection. A special milk-like drip was ordered for his nutrition. This drip goes directly into the body system and it need not be absorbed by the stomach. This enables his gut to rest and fully heal.

It was later in the afternoon that his pressure started to drop again. Once again, more doctors started to arrive and soon it became a mini-drama in his room. The doctors were nice as they kept me posted what was happening and kept assuring that everything will be fine.

For now, it is just close monitoring and allowing the antibiotics to do their wonders.

The Infamous Food Critic

Even after the giant shrunk, food is still all so important! He is so famous for his critics on the cuisines served at the hospital that his high EQed nurse went looking for the 2008 menu before he even arrived on 2 Jan this final cycle .... unfortunately it was unavailable.

Well, he just have to make do! Fortunately for him, it seems like the cook received a telepathic message from him, the high steamed food for the 2nd and 3rd cycle looked more presentable. Here's a peep of how the diet is served as I know many are curious.

The Last Cycle

"I feel like crying... cry with tears of joy!" said he during the last day of chemo treatment on Sat, 5th Jan. (His face radiating with joy.... posing with the last bag of chemo drug)

For an active person who is incapable of sitting still and a low tolerance of pain, conquering 8 months of battles - hospitalisation, surgeries, blood tests, scans, side effects, was certainly a admirable feat.

It would certainly be very much more difficult if not for his acceptance of Christ. He learnt to appreciate instead of fault finding, take things in his stride instead of opposing, rationalise instead of jumping into conclusions, trust instead of being skeptical. Most of all, he said he finally understood how to love unconditionally.

With the last 3 bags of stem cells infused today, 7th Jan, he has finally crossed the last hurdle, the only left to the finishing line is for the body to heal.

The Disappearing Act

For family and friends who have known us for a long time, we are a couple who just can't catch up with advancement of technology.... it took us awhile to even invest in a digital camera. To start with, the initial blog template was created by a friend in Hong Kong 4 months ago.

So this amateur couple started to capture our memories. The photos we eagerly took, scanned through together, selected few to post on the blog, wrote captions, had plans to make slide shows, ready to scan into a disc once everything is organised and many more.

Hmmm... when 2 amateurs get excited and try their hand at sorting files, transferring images, shuffle and reshuffle into different programs, things do get haywire. Much to our dismay....95% of the pictures were gone. Even the ones in the camera disappeared!

The shock and disappointment were written all over our faces! Kevin took longer to get over it as he was looking forward in organising them into albums and transfer into a DVD.

Most of all, he wanted to post on this blog our pizza party!!! The pizzas were made from scratch (flour & the works), even the sauce was homemade. There were names given for some pizzas - "Heng Dai" created by the boys, "MaMaPiZa" created by mom, "Anal-Za" for a pizza with an anal placement of ingredients... we even made a special chocolate banana pizza for the countdown to the new year! Well, it gives us another reason to hold another larger pizza party!

For the photos we took with some of you, they will always be in our hearts. Meanwhile, we will start our collection again.....

Looking Ahead a Positive Direction!!

It was a wonderful week spending time with family and friends at home whilst preparing for the final 3rd high dose cycle. Christmas was always fun and jovial with sumptious and delicious meals and great company. Spending the final day of year 2007 with the Lord was my first time, but a meaningful one as I would move forward welcoming year 2008 in a more enlightened direction.

Nevertheless our New Year dinner was fun as well..... We had our very own first of its kind create-your-own pizza party. Making pizza was fun from kneading pizza dough, making the sauce, creating your own ingredients till stuffing it into your own belly was exciting and satisfying.

Overall, year 2008 awaits me with a new direction in life......

Share a thought:

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)