The Offensive Plug

Almost if not all people that we know have a fear of needles. My fear of needles is much greater than his, if I ever did experience a fraction of what he had, a heart attack from fear from me is a certainty!

He has undergone countless CT scans and blood tests... each CT scan requires a plug. The plug is that of a butterfly needle inserted into the vein, held down by a 2 plastic flaps onto the skin which is further taped in place with a porous tape (tagaderm), a sterile yellow plastic cap is also attached to the needle. This yellow cap has a circular rubber portion which a needle is able to penetrate for blood or medications to avoid repeatedly piercing the flesh. Almost anyone who had a hospital stay would have one inserted.

His original makeup had veins hidden pretty deep in. Ever since the diagnosis and treatment, the veins are flatter and with fluid retention, they are even more difficult to locate.Many a time, the inserted needle has to be maneuvered whilst in the flesh to find a vein. That's what causes the most pain.

Once there were 5 attempts made before a vein could be hit (total of 3 nurses came to help). For that, he became even more terrified but persevere on. To worsen matters, there was a period his chemo line was infected and removed. Any blood needed had to be drawn directly form the veins ... as expected, it was always more than one attempt to successfully draw.

Each time a CT scan was instructed by the doctors, the dread sets in and he confides in a resigned tone how much he dreads it and feels like calling it quits... if the toxicity of the chemo drugs weren't bad enough. This aspect of treatment played a big part in affecting his emotional well-being. Any news that he needs a plug for a CT scan is enough to cause a sleepless night.

The CT scan was ordered after his diarrhoea-bacteria ordeal, 19th Dec. He didn't want the plug set at the foot due to previous painful experience. His arms were swollen with fluids and veins could not be located. The nurses had no choice but to manoeuvre the needle. He clutched my hands so tight... an image of a natural birthing process flashed in my head! Agony was written all over his face and finally so unbearable that he cried out in pain to stop. Next day, a sister nurse and 3 senior staff nurses tried again unsuccessfully and he was visibly very shaken. The doctors had no choice but to use oral contrast which would not give a clear image.

Let's pray for the advancement of medical science to one day develop a device for tests to be done without any kind of bodily invasion....

Being Challenged

Following the episode of diahorrea, waves of pains at the abdominal area started to set in. Into Saturday night, the pain intensified and coupled with gas, it soon became unbearable. With each wave, he would scrunch up his face in agony... it was painful to watch and yet not able to help in anyway.

The nurses were indispensable, doing everything they could to make him comfortable while the medication took effect. The medical officer (MO) came by a few times to prescribe more medication to ease the pain and diarrhoea. ECGs were taken to ensure the heart was alright, many blood cultures were done for identifying the guilty bacteria (blood culture results take a few days).

Finally came dawn. Soon an array of activities began... Traffic at his room was heavy with the nurses constantly monitoring the vital signs, the MO checking on him, a general surgeon to review in case the x-ray shows a need for surgery and his oncology doctors who came in and saw to the rest.

By late morning, high dependency monitoring was ordered, however, due to immunity levels, he was warded at the ICU where isolation was possible. At that time, blood pressure was low and fluctuating, heart rate (HR) ranged at 140-150, breathing labored and fever already settled in. He was pretty disturbed when blood had to be taken from the artery. It was appalling to hear the risks of puncture. I held my breath during the procedure and was perspiring by the end of it. To help ease the pain, local anaesthesia was given and it really worked!

At the ICU, the all-so-familiar feelings came rushing back for us... the fever, fast heart rate, breathlessness at Mt Alvernia's critical care unit. My heart sank when I saw the HR keeping at 140-150. (Humming lullaby certainly did not help...on a contrary I think the HR went up!)

The doctors explained that with low immunity, even the mildest bacteria could flare up and cause problems. In young patients with an illnesses, a possible reaction could be an increased heart rate, in some instances as high as 170. With no time to lose, even without the complete results, potent antibiotics were administered to counter most types of bacteria. An infectious disease senior consultant was roped in to ensure whatever and however stubborn bacteria would be eradicated.

With every one's prayers, doctors' dedication, ICU's care and the potency of the drugs given, his condition soon stabilized within 24 hrs. It was a relief to hear the next morning that he will return to the normal ward. By noon he was nicely tucked away at his usual isolation ward. (I too was happily tucked in my own chair in his quiet room...feeling relieved).

For now, it is just recuperation while the labs attempt to unveil the results. Although with the lack of appetite, he is trying his best to eat. The moods however still remains pretty low....

Feeling Challenged

It had been pretty chemo effect-free for the past week. Into the 2nd week of this cycle, the immunity is all time low at 0.2 (normal level is above 4). With the increased dosage of one chemo drug, dizzy spells and diarrhoea made him uncomfortable and slightly disoriented.

He described his dizzy spells as feelings of the world spinning... his feet and palms felt like they were magnified many times over and his head the size of a pinhead against an extremely large palm. This thankfully went off after a day.

The diarrhoea started yesterday and it could be a side effect or a potential bug in his gut. The doctors took no chance and started him on antibiotics asap while awaiting for the result of the lab test on the stools as it takes a couple of days.With almost nothing left in the stomach, he always feels hungry and was able to take his 3 meals which however, very soon became the output. For the record, it has been 6 trips to the gents today.... lugging the IV drip machine was certainly a chore!

A Heart-y Touch by the LORD

Let me share with you a special spiritual experience during my battle with cancer.....

It happened on the 23rd August '07, the day before my major chest surgery. The objective of surgery was to remove the primary tumor at the chest area. This was my first major surgery and expected to be a 6-hour one. Previously at Mt Alvernia Hospital, I did a simple open biopsy and came out of operating theater with a breathing aid stuffed in my throat and nose. (I must say that that was the worst ever feeling one can ever imagine, I rather do a fear factor stunt for free!)

My mood was not right to begin with, so came the day I had to check into Burj al Arab (aka SGH) for standard protocols - body checks and pre-medications by the doctors and nurses. Worry, indecisive... were some of my feelings and backing out was one of my thoughts that night. I could still back out of the surgery, all I needed was an indemnity form. Then still awake at 1030pm (I should have been resting instead for the 730am surgery), Siang, my-bro-law, paid me a visit alone.

I was surprised as it was so late! We spoke about my fears for the surgery. In my mind there were many 'what ifs..' , 'what should I do..'. Siang offered a car ride for some fresh air...can-meh? It felt like Prison Break (Singapore version)!

It was then he said "Have Faith in the Lord for only Him can bring us to salvation and to trust in the Lord!" But I really didn't know the strength of my own faith. He asked if I believed Christ died on the cross to save us. Yes, of course! "Then it's a start! Believe in Him!" he said. We continued to chat about christianity and Siang prayed for me for strength and faith.

It was finally D-Day and D-Time, with the Lord's guidance, I braved into the operating theater and before the surgery began, I said a prayer and soon the anaestheia started to take effect......Zzz....

9 hours later at 630pm, the surgery ended. With God's grace, it was a success and no breathing aid this time! Praise the Lord!! (the only body reaction was a massive rash breakout caused by an allergic reaction to the 10 pints of blood infused during surgery) I stayed in the ICU for a day and HDU (High Dependency Unit) for a couple of days before I could go back to general ward. Recovery was swift and smooth. All these, I must say, was the work of the Lord!

The breaking news was that the tumor mass removed shown 95% of dead cells and the remaining 5% was inactive. It was certainly encouraging and I felt uplifted.

There was a funny incident during my stay... my neighbouring ward-mate was talking and singing in his sleep throughout and my was I amused! Was it this the work of the Lord to keep me cheerful throughout my stay?

Thought of the day: "All things are possible to him that believeth"